Hey guys,

If you haven't read this I insist. It will explain why I am creating a new story.

Until I begin Book 2 of Sikaron, I shall be working on this comic:

Intinar Prime

Please tell me what you think. ;)

Graynar

Ah! It's Ogel again! ;)

For some reason the comic shows up really small for me. Way too small to read or even see what the pictures are of. Does that happen to anyone else, or is it just my computer?

Hey Myrddin, the comic just zoomed out I believe. Place your arrow over the comic and wait for a box with arrows going into it. Then click the box-hence enlargening the comic.

I hope this makes sense.

I don´t have time to read it right now but I checked it out and it seemed pretty cool. I always like your GIMP effects.

I wonder who "Ogel" is? Is that one of your characters Graynar? Or one of the minfigs? (Displaying my general ignorance once again...).

Wow Graynar - you work fast! A whole site dedicatd to another story! Nice! Very cool that you have your first chapter published online already! I read through it and I like the dialogue very much - you have some personality in those little "speech bubbles", or whatever they are called, something that I can't imagine is the easiest thing to do.

I also like the spaceships - I didn't know you could piece together a nice looking spacecraft (something I cannot do) - are they micro-scale? Either way they are very cool. I had no idea you had so many non-castle figs either, but I like them - IQ and the main commander (evil side) the most. Also, as Maedhros mentioned, your work with GIMP is always cool to watch, especially since you use a lot of effects that I have never seen or made before.

For the scene where they are walking around on the planet - I wonder why you chose not to use a baseplate for the ground? Is it due to a lack of brown pieces or a creative thing? I can see both, especially since I have very little brown myself.

Hordesman and Nick are probally better authorities for suggestions, but some things I can think of off the top of my head... maybe the text should have a dark shadow or something? It wasn't really hard to read, but if you have lighter pictures in the future, it might be harder... still that wasn't really a problem.

Really cool to see another comic - and to see a Castler try something new - good reading!

I think he´s the villain from Alpha Team... It´s LEGO reversed ;-)

What happen?

Somebody set up us the bomb!

We get signal... What!

Main screen turn on.

Its you!

How are you gentleman?

All your base are belong to us.

What you say?

You have no chance to survive make your time.


Im really sorry Graynar, but I kind of felt into the entire "all your base mood" right now. :P
Nice comic, though Im not a big fan of the black=evil, white=good concept. ;)
I saw a lil Starwars reference in the end! :D
Quillmaster, seriously, never heard of Ogel? :blink:

Hey thanks for the comments guys.

Quill Master wrote:

Lack of brown baseplates, and the fact most of my baseplates are being used for MOCs.

QM wrote:

Thank you, and yes these are micro scale ships.

Maedhros wrote:

Thanks I do to, plus they are fun to create!

The Hordesman wrote:

Oh, why is that? It is somewhat difficult to create a story without good vs. Evil.

Graynar

http://s13.invisionfree.com/Castle_World/i...p?showtopic=146

;)
But heck, old Arch-evils & Greedmonsters got their charms. B)

I cant say anything before next chapter, but it seems promising nontheless.

Doh! Nope, I really didn't know that... :-P Ack... always more to learn about these bricks!

Alpha team eh? Kind of an interesting fig head... I might have to check into that. Usually I just scavange SW and HP for parts, so I must confess, my knowledge of the other themes is very limited.

Very cool so far -

Hey! Nice comic you have here. I might make a few suggestions:

Perhaps you should make individual pages, like I did for my space comic, and lay them out on a web page. Aside from the page being slightly big, it was laid out pretty well. Did you add the text to the individual images before pasting them to make the page, or did you add them to the page after pasting them? I find that adding them to the whole thing after I've pasted all the images is easier.

The effects are pretty well done. The picture when they were standing on the brown ground looked almost real, except they didn't have shadows. The laser blast effects look okay, but I think they could be improved a little. And I like how you used mini ships in that battle - that's a much easier way than having to build the whole ship, especialy if it's supposed to be large.

Overall you did it pretty good. Just one more thing: Like every single comic I have read that is laid out using pages, it is somewhat hard to follow the storyline. My comic is like this as well, and I don't know how to fix it. I guess that's what happens when you make comics. I can't wait for the next part.

Nick Durron wrote:

I am still experimenting with this comic format. I find it a lot easier to draw comics rather than copying and pasting by computer. I will try new things as the comic progresses, and I hope you enjoy it!

Nick also wrote:

Oh, my bad. Were they a little cartoonish?

Nick wrote:

I paste the picture, add the text, copy the picture including the text, and paste it on the comic page. They are individualy done, with the exception of placing texts on two pics and copying and pasting them on the comic.

Oh, by the way, Comic 2 is up!

Graynar

Wow - you work fast man! Very cool!

>bookmarked for later reading<

Hmmm.... I'm now going to submit my humble opinion ;)

I like it, yet it needs more texture, and a clearer plot. I'm amazed how you could put these up in such a fast amount of time. ;-) It has inspired me to think of writing a space story, instead of a castle ballad :D

Edit...

No... I'm going to finish the first saga of Kilralthy before I pull out my immense SW collection :lol:

Very nice so far Graynar - this latest chapter really read and looked like a comic book. Also, you built some great military vehichles - very cool and solid design - did you make it up yourself?

As usual, you have sweet effects, with the vehichles blurred well, the guns blasting well (it looks cool when the soldier is hit in the face), and the suprise punch that is delivered before storming the building.

It's hard to tell who the real enemy is at the moment - "OGEL" or the people on the planet. :-P

Comic 1 part 3

Yes that's right, another part of the comic.

Enjoy! :D

I'm loving this pace man! Chapter 3 was great - it really suprised me when the father died, especially since he seemed to be the main character up until then, with the son just following his lead... I should have remembered - this is Graynar's work I'm reading... good guys die unexpectedly! B-)

I also liked the airship/car you made, that the bad guy jumps into when escaping from the son. It's pretty cool design, and well built too. You're pretty good at showing a "bustling street", and the airship looks cool flying off above it all.

One other note I forgot to mention about 1 and 2 - the graphitti on the walls is a great touch.

Thanks Quill Master,

Im really on a roll now. Two new pages up! :D

Comic 2 part 1

Enjoy!

WOw you're cooking :D

Wow! You make these fast. In one week, you have made four! It took me a month to make just one of my comics.

They look really good, except the frame sizes are almost all the same. The blaster effects seem to be a lot better in the later parts, and I especially liked the explosion. Am I right in assuming that the shot of all those soldiers in the field was fake? (As in you took a picture of one soldier and cloned him)

The story is pretty easy to follow, and I'm sad to see that the father died... I didn't really like his head.

As Quill Master said, your army vehicles are very well build. I think the Hummer looked out of place, and way too big. I suppose that's because it's a LEGO set.

How long will your comic be? At the rate it's going, it seems it could be very long.

Hey Nick,

You are correct on the term cloning, but I cloned three men not just one. In that picture there are only three real figs of those soldiers. Besides the hummer being too small in that pic, I think it turned out quite well.

Ah, my bad. The dad was supposed to look wise and smart. I thought that face fit the part well.

Yes it is wayyy too big. An error on my part, and one to resolve by blowing that hummer to bits in the next issue. ;)

As long as it takes. I am planning for future issues as we speak.

Thanks for the reply!

Ahh... I actually thought you meant to make it that large - since it was the future and everyone is shooting off lazers, I just figured everyone "needed a bigger hummer" to get the job done. Ah well, it will be cool to see it get blown to bits.

I can see where Nick is coming from with the dad's head - I've never seen that head before, it seems very different from the typical LEGO minfig-head.

I'm enjoying your comic though, easy to read with good pics and effects.