I am getting frustrated looking for a better job, so I'm turning to you guys. I have very few requirements:

$100,000 + in annual salary, plus bonuses, and full healthcare and retirement packages.
6 weeks paid vacation per year.
Sick days that accumulate if not used.
40 hr. work weeks maximum.
Fuel reimbursement if no telecommuting is allowed.

I'm creative, easy to get along with, and possess good communication skills.

Plus, you guys totally owe me.

When you get that job, get me one too.

I left off some other requirements:

The health care package must include membership to the gym of my choice and 4 visits monthly to a massage therapist...of my choice.

I do not work before 10 am, and my appearance is not to be questioned.

I will require an office with a view, a secretary, and a secretary for my secretary. And one of those neat headsets so I don't strain my arm holding up the phone.

I know the perfect job for you but Paris Hilton already has it

Famous Whore is a job now? :huh:

Neat.

Whoring is the oldest occupation they say. Famous whores are like the CEhoes of whores.

I like that...CEHoes... :P

I can't help but notice that no one has given me a job yet. This leads me to 1 of 2 conclusions:

None of you can read, or

You're all just a little more worthless than me.

Which means, I'm the most powerful poster on the board. Kneel before Zod!

Hey Zod, you be the one publicly begging for a job. Kneel before my steady paycheck. (Small tho it is)

Oh, I got a steady paycheck...I just hate it. I figgered one of you respectable fellers could just hand me a do-nothing pays-great kinda gig.

Lies

No problem. I work for a wealthy African prince who is having difficulty accessing his funds and would appreciate your assistance...

I can't read. :angry:

If it's Prince Abinuhandelay of Guinea-Bissau, tell him no thanks. Not after last time.

:angry:

Yeah, but you can drive.

nr6

You can be my gas pumper , NO HOMO!

I thought that you were enployed protecting Dr. Venture and his two moronic sons. nr6