Cannon Balls

For the naval historians among us...

It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships.
But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem.

The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon.

There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it.

The solution to the rusting problem was to make Brass Monkeys.

Few landlubbers realize that brass shrinks much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.

Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

And all this time, you thought that was a vulgar expression, didn't you? You must send this fabulous bit of historical knowledge to at least a few uninformed friends.

Never heard of that expression.

heard of "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra," but nothing about monkey balls.

The Truth
According to the United States Navy Historical Center, this is a legend of the sea without historical justification. The center has researched this because of the questions it gets and says the term "brass monkey" and a vulgar reference to the effect of cold on the monkey's extremities, appears to have originated in the book "Before the Mast" by C.A. Abbey. It was said that it was so cold that it would "freeze the tail off a brass monkey." The Navy says there is no evidence that the phrase had anything to do with ships or ships with cannon balls.

Did they say anything about witch's tits?

Yeah the one's on top of the monkey balls!

Re: Origin of "colder than a witches tit"

Posted by Bruce Kahl on December 27, 2001

In Reply to: Origin of "colder than a witches tit" posted by Roxann on December 27, 2001

: I see that someone asked before for the meaning of this phrase - I understand the meaning, but does anyone know the origin of "colder than a witches tit"

The simple explanation is that "colder than a witch's tit" is just a vivid metaphor, like "hotter than the hinges of hell." Since a
witch is in league with Satan, presumably she has no maternal feelings. Thus the medium by which she would suckle a child is,
well, cold as a witch's tit.

But there's some history behind this wisecrack. A witch's tit (or witch's teat, to use the older spelling) supposedly left a marking
that witch hunters and courts would look for on the body of an accused person. Supposedly, witches would suckle their
familiars, and sometimes the Devil himself, from this "unholy" body part. To find these marks, as well as insensitive spots on the
skin called devil's marks--caused by the Devil's claws or teeth--the suspects were stripped, shaven, then closely examined for
any blemishes, moles, or even scars that could be labeled as diabolical. To find marks invisible to the eye, the examiner would
poke the victim inch by inch with a blunt needle (called a bodkin) until they found a spot that didn't feel pain or bled. Discovery
of these marks or spots--one supposes they would be considered cold since they were a sign of communion with the
Devil--would be "proof" of the person's dealings with Scratch, so they would be shown in full court before the execution.

Where do you find this shit :lol:

Goggle probably...........

<_<

Was I talking to you :huh:

Do you expect everyone to be a mind reader?

Only witches, and if they do it?
It`s cause to burn them at the steak. :ph43r:

NO, actually I study infrequently used phrases in my spare time.

No, but if someone says something and somone quotes them and asks a question that directly addresses them with a personal pronoun like "you" then they most likely not talking to somone else.
678hnn77

OK, "Ball faced lie."

I always thought it was "bold faced lie," but I read it recently as "ball faced lie."

have you ever considered a hysterectomy?

wtf are you mumbling about?