May Trigger.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


so about 2 nights ago i had this weird dream.... for some reason i was.. where not exactly sure.... but i had this knife in my hand that we actually have in kitchen.. and i cut extremely deep.. and then took this cloth thing and covered it trying to stop the blood... well i don't remember if one of my friends was there in dream or not... some one was i think.. i think they were trying to show me how to do it.. can't remember.. anyways i woke up at that poiont and everytime i closed my eyes again.. all i saw was that knife.. and me putting it down against my skin.. ready to cut again.. and i haven't "cut" since few weeks.... never cut that deep even when i did.. just enough to leave scratches.. either way the dream freaked me out and i know tonight will be no diff and it will take me a while before i can get to sleep b/c that image will keep popping in my mind...

[Make sure, for dream that involve anything like this, to put a trigger warning-just incase.]

*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********

I've had dreams similar to what you've described, and they aren't fun at all; you just have to keep telling yourself that it's only a dream--and the consequences outweigh the momentary benifits of the cutting.

yeah.. but that's the hardest part.. b/c when i don't want to think about it.. it just pops back into my mind.. and soemtimes it feels like if i just did that it would help get it off my mind as much.. yet i would be thinking about the fact that i actually did that then.. so.. no escape from it./.. at least it seems that way...

'For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.' -2 Timothy 1:7

There isn't a reason to be afraid of your dreams. They are just dreams, and God will also be there in those times that *c feels like the only thing to do. Often times when I had that urge, I would open my bible to random scripture and just read until the feeling passed, because it is just a feeling, it's not reality that you need to do that. God always provides an escape. You can pray about your need. You can write about it, once you've talked about it to God or written about it, sometimes the need is less intense and you can be a bit more rational.

I'm here to talk any time you need to hun. Just hang in there and know that we are praying for and thinking about you.

*hugs*
Manda

i know what you are saying... the only thing that worries me is that praying isn't helping me feel that sense of relaxation/ calmness/ security as i usually have after i pray.. why i don't know.. but it just doesn't do the same as it usually has..

i can still feel the coldness of the object agst my skin.. and i freak out when i'm around them and try to stay as far away from them as possible.. yet it's like i'm attracted to them b/c it always on my mind.. i know where they are.. and half me wants to get to them... :(

i want to write a poem to see if tht would help at all.. but the only thing is that i'm afraid of how my poem would turn out... i can't always trust my writings with this type of thing.. b/c my writing comes out diff from normal.. which isn't a bad thing.. but it tends to scare people if they read the poem...
so what do i do.... scared to write... talking.. praying... venting of any kind... doesn't really help as much as it usually does...
and those images keep popping up into my mind... :unsure:

I don't really think that writing something out of the ordinary would be a bad thing. You don't have to let anyone read it either unless you want them too. When we write, at least in my experience, we write things that only our subconsious knows and sometimes we read it when we're done and go "wow, I didn't even know I felt that way" so it may help to get things out that you didn't even know you were feeling. I would recommend writing the poem and only show it if you feel comfortable. After all, the poem isn't for anyone but you. What do you have to lose. Just try a few lines and if you're not feeling it then you're not, but just see. If you want you can post it in the poetry section or on here. If not that's definitely okay, but it may help us to see inside you and perhaps give more helpful advice. Good luck with your poem if you decide to do that. We are here hun...*hugs*

yeah so i tried writing a poem today.. took about two tries.. and even now i'm not sure if it says what i want it to say.. and the images are still vivid in my mind...
so i guess it didn't really help.. not sure.. maybe i need to give it some time.. or write something else.. that no one will see.. i don't know.. i really don't know..

It sounds like you're trying too hard with the writing.
If you just sit there and write whatever is on your mind without thinking,
you'll write what you need to write.
It doesn't have to be a poem.
It doesn't have to make sense.
Just writing words,
any words,
sometimes really helps a lot.
If you're too focused on writing something that makes sense,
it doesn't always work.
Do you know what I mean?

Remember, it's just a dream.
Have you tried watching a movie
or listening to music lately
[happy movies or music]
before you go to sleep?
That might help you fall asleep
with a better image in your mind.
Try it if you haven't.

I'm thinking of you always.

It's kinda cool you mention this because I went thru a similar thing where I had a pretty vivid dream I wanted to write a poem about, but seemed to keep getting stuck. I finally was able to write it half decent (or atleast I been told it was.)

Heres what I did hopefully it may help;

1) I just wrote it out on paper. I wasn't concerned how good it was or how poetic it was. My main focus was just getting the details of the dream on paper.

2) After I had it written down than it seemed rather easy by looking at it to express the points I wanted too and images and making it into a poem.

Here is the actual poem I wrote although it is completely different from your dream maybe something in it may inspire you with your poem. (possibily just the fact it was based on a dream aswell.)

The Dawn of Greatness
is at our feet.

An icy frozen land - transformed
w/ a marvelous dreamy gaze,
as patches of green
seem to eat through the ice
increasingly enticing this vision.

In our minds
an empire is constructed.

So powerful & real.
So beautifully elegant
in its translucent appearance.

We know no doubt.
The universe smiles.
Destiny is ours in all her glory.
Sweet candied stories
singing this time for all eternity.

yeah.. all details are engrained in my mind tho.. especially a few of them... kinda hard to block em out.. and the one i have now is half decent.. yet i began another one today.. and it kinda scared me.. not in a bad way. but i was thinking.. okay so this one can go off how i'm feeling... just seems like so much is missing from that one poem though.. and i would write out details except i have to be careful where i do that.. and then BURN the paper afterwards unless i wanna face questions from many...


awesome poem though!

I think what Steph mentioned about trying to not to focus on what you're writing is pretty effective; I've found that it helps me a lot to know that after I've written everything out as...scary as it may be, at least it's not completely trapped inside my mind.

Movies/Music have been a pretty good distraction for me lately; it doesn't block anything out completely, but it helps a lot; between last night, and this morning I've watched 101 Dalmations, Aladdian, Crash, Raise Your Voice and Annie :)

I hope that you'll take some [if not all] of Steph's advice; I think it ould be extremely helpful to you.

Hang in there, ok?

trying to just write.. and my poems always go in odd directions then.. diff from what i expect... we are on a poetry unit right now.. and obviously i fit the persona of a poet b/c i've had a "troubling" life... in a sense.. and all poets have had something happen to them.. lots of the famous ones anways.. dickenson, poe.....

school serves as my main distraction.. that and music when i get the chance to listen to it.. (when not at school..)

but u know.. have those moments where everything just HITS.

but i'm trying all the advice i've heard so far.. so thanks to all!

No one has any right
to say anything to you
about a dream you had.
As scary as it was
or as weird as it was
or as vivd as it was,
a dream
is just a dream.

Evilicy is right,
it does really help
to write out the dream.
I used to keep a dream journal;
I haven't written in it in awhile,
but it was extremely helpful
to get it out on paper.
Don't worry about what anyone would think
if they read it.
No one can really control the dreams they have.

i just need to start journaling.. i always start. but can never keep doing it on a daily basis.. or just regualr basis...
that and need to start writing more. used to write poetry on a daily basis.. i'm getting back to that..

if i can find my journal.. or just some my scrap paper.. i'll write out the details...

though only thing i worry about .. and have been since i'vehad the dream is that i'm going ot have a sequel to it..

also as i look back over it.. reminds me i left some things out.. i might have said them already.. but just incase.


in dream.. also bloody handkerchiefs..(yikes yikes..) and white.. lots of white backgrounds....

now images are of the object covered in blood.....dripping.. and just other things like that...

don't need a sequel dream to that..

I have those 'moments' a lot,
and it's hard,
but I think that some of the good distractions listed here may help you.

As far as the parts of the dream that you left out,
I would try not to focus so much on the dream now,
I know that it was scary,
and seemed very real
Butlike it's been said above,
it was only a dream.
You have to try no to lt it take over you.

You're in my thoughts, always.

doing my best to not think about it. and block it out..
just doesn't always work..
but i'mm getting there.. i hope.

You will. Try not to think about it from this day on. It was just a dream. Don't take it as anything more than you would any other dream.

it not as bad now.. just every now and then there a flash again.. but not as bad as it was. so that's a good thing. just hope no other dreams like that come too soon..