Title: Newcastle Watch
Ach - May 25, 2009 01:46 PM (GMT)
First thread for these jokes in the section they belong in.
A lot of coming and goings will take place this summer.
Post them here
A lot of coming and goings will take place this summer.
Post them here
In Lehmanns Terms - May 25, 2009 02:09 PM (GMT)
I really wouldn't mind us signing some Toon players, the experience that some can offer us will be very much in our favour.
The Emirates Gallastico - May 25, 2009 02:12 PM (GMT)
Experience of being shit?
In Lehmanns Terms - May 25, 2009 02:42 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (The Emirates Gallastico @ May 25 2009, 03:12 PM) |
| Experience of being shit? |
Well no, I mean playing experience.
Individually they've got some good players, but the Newcastle curse makes them a shit team!
Ach - May 25, 2009 03:03 PM (GMT)
If Shearer doesnt stay, Dowie will be the new manager imo
In Lehmanns Terms - May 25, 2009 03:04 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Ach @ May 25 2009, 04:03 PM) |
| If Shearer doesnt stay, Dowie will be the new manager imo |
Ew.
Talk about STBCM™ :sick: :pal:
Ach - May 25, 2009 03:05 PM (GMT)
Newcastle needn't worry.
He'd be gone by Xmas
He'd be gone by Xmas
The Emirates Gallastico - May 25, 2009 03:07 PM (GMT)
Ach - May 25, 2009 11:37 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| ALAN SHEARER will be offered a four-year deal to become Newcastle boss today. Shearer will meet Toon owner Mike Ashley and discuss the way forward following Sunday's relegation disaster. SunSport understands Super Al has begun building a decent relationship with Ashley who will demand the club's wage bill must be slashed by £30million. Shearer will make it clear he has the total say on everything from transfers to staff recruitment. A source said: "Alan has a good working relationship with Ashley who knows he can't act how he did with Kevin Keegan if the club are to get themselves out of this mess. "He is taking on board everything Alan is saying. "Mike knows he needs to be getting on with Shearer far better than previous managers." Ashley is desperate to sort out the managerial situation and plan for next season's promotion bid. A backroom reshuffle is also expected with Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood poised to leave. |
Bunk Moreland - May 26, 2009 12:21 AM (GMT)
was listening to 5live earlier and one of their reporters stated that Coloccini earns between 60 to 70k a week and that they have 10 players who earn at least 50k a week or more.
that really is amazing.
that really is amazing.
JackTheLad19 - May 26, 2009 08:11 AM (GMT)
They don't have relegation wage cut clauses in their contracts either which is pretty insane.
In Lehmanns Terms - May 26, 2009 08:24 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (JackTheLad19 @ May 26 2009, 09:11 AM) |
| They don't have relegation wage cut clauses in their contracts either which is pretty insane. |
SCBTM™
Small Club, Big Time Metality™
Of course they don't have relegation clauses, Newcastle think they're entitled to a top 4 finish every year :oldboy:
Now they're fooked :pal:
JackTheLad19 - May 26, 2009 08:49 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Meltdown: Newcastles £71m wage nightmare By COLIN YOUNG If Alan Shearer needed evidence of the mess he had walked into when he took over as Newcastle United manager, he had only to study the club's annual £71 million wage list. One contract must have stood out among the names of highly paid millionaires without a care in the world, and certainly not a care about Newcastle United: Xisco, a six-year contract, £50,000 a week (no relegation clause), a deal which will cripple any prospective Championship club. The Spain Under 21 international striker was one of Dennis Wise's many dubious summer signings, added to the Newcastle squad without Kevin Keegan's knowledge while the then manager was preparing what he had thought was his squad during pre-season. He had never heard of the Xisco Kid, but he wasn't alone. Then again, it was clear he had never heard of Fabricio Coloccini, Jonas Gutierrez or Ignacio Gonzalez either. After the £8 million flop that was Albert Luque, you would have thought even a new Newcastle United board would have learned the lessons of signing Spanish strikers from Deportivo La Coruna. But apparently not. And now Mike Ashley must pay a very heavy price. Xisco made his Newcastle debut against Hull City, one of only three league starts he made all season. And he even scored in that shock 2-1 defeat to the rampant Tigers that September afternoon. Well, the ball hit him from a rebound off the post and crept over the line. That was the day the fans turned on Ashley and his Cockney Mafia and they were warned to stay away from St James's Park. Shearer could only watch the sorry and ugly events unfold from the Match of the Day studios, but even from that distance he could see the cancer eating away at his beloved club. And of course he had heard enough about it from Keegan and former team-mates. The players, Xisco included, were called in for a brief meeting with Shearer and Iain Dowie at nine thirty yesterday morning. They departed with strict new fitness regimes for their summer break and were told to report back for pre-season training on July 1, even though it was also made quite clear that they will not all be Newcastle United players by then. Not if Shearer has his way and Ashley is prepared to back him. Shearer will meet Ashley today and decide whether he really wants the Newcastle United job full time, but his primary concern is to receive assurances about the funds at his disposal. Not only will he be seeking guarantees about the cash he will have available to completely re-build the squad, he needs it. Eventually, albeit several months too late, Shearer was given permission to grab the club by the scruff of its sorry neck. The new standards he has set across the club, standards which he adhered to every day of his playing career, were undoubtedly long overdue. But those with the club at heart have welcomed them - as have Ashley and his managing director Derek Llambias. And now the two men must decide whether they can afford to allow Shearer the same control of the club playing staff and recruitment now they have fallen in to the Coca-Cola Championship for the first time since 1992. The former club captain will want a blank piece of paper if he is to take over but there are difficult choices ahead thanks to the contracts he inherited on that first day. With the possible exception of Kevin Nolan and Ryan Taylor, none of the players have relegation clauses, so no one, not even Joey Barton, can be expected to quit the club without a pay-off, and there are certainly no plans among the players to take a pay-cut, no matter what soundbites they produce about loyalty and devastation. Damien Duff and Steven Taylor, two of the few assets, say they want to stay. They want Shearer to do the same if Newcastle is to have any chance of returning next season. Duff said: `I am as loyal as they come - whether the gaffer stays or not - but if there is one man to get us back up it is the gaffer. 'It has been a proper proper football club for eight weeks and it was about time it was. If there is one man to get us back up it is him.' And Taylor added: 'It is starting to sink in now we are a Championship team and we have to deal with it. 'I know there are going to be changes but we want to be back. We are a Premier League team so we need to be back up there. 'The only person I think can take us back up is Alan Shearer. He has been fantastic to work with and let's hope I get the chance to work with him again.' WORTH KEEPING: NICKY BUTT £60,000 a week a leader who will be needed. STEVEN TAYLOR £40,000 a proud Geordie who will want to make amends. DANNY GUTHRIE £40,000 will do well in Championship. SHOLA AMEOBI £40,000 Football League is his level. STEVE HARPER £30,000 deserves a run as No 1. RYAN TAYLOR £30,000 should pick up in lower level. ON THEIR WAY: MICHAEL OWEN £105,000 out of contract, needs a new club. DAMIEN DUFF £70,000 says he wants to stay (yeah, right). OBAFEMI MARTINS £70,000 on the first plane out of Tyneside, never to be seen again. ALAN SMITH £60,000 strangely has a list of clubs who want him. MARK VIDUKA £60,000 Aussie beaches beckon. GEREMI £60,000 odds on for a Turkish club who need a 40-plus player. JONAS GUTIERREZ £50,000 cost £5.6m but no use now. HABIB BEYE £50,000 one of few to leave with integrity intact. IGNACIO GONZALEZ £50,000 who indeed? CACAPA £40,000 one of the worst Brazilians ever. SEBASTIEN BASSONG £30,000 one of Newcastles few assets. PETER LOVENKRANDS £20,000 brief loan spell to end. KEVIN NOLAN £50,000 January signing which backfired. HARD TO SHIFT: JOEY BARTON £60,000 who would be mad enough to buy him? JOSE ENRIQUE £60,000 cost £6m, which was £6m too much. FABRICIO COLOCCINI £60,000 he was frighteningly bad. XISCO £50,000 an expensive flop. |
In Lehmanns Terms - May 26, 2009 09:00 AM (GMT)
SCBTM™ :pal:
It's Up For Grabs Now - May 26, 2009 09:15 AM (GMT)
Those wages are scandalous! Id keep Duff though to be fair.
Ach - May 26, 2009 09:17 AM (GMT)
If those wages are true, thats over a million a week wasted on shite players.
The Emirates Gallastico - May 26, 2009 09:41 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Michael Owen has played his last game for Newcastle ... and leaves the club in the same condition he arrived four years ago ... INJURED! Including wages of £108,000 per week, he has cost the club £40.5m. Owen has been dogged by injuries this season and, although his wage demands would be high, the lack of a transfer fee means he is likely to attract plenty of interest this summer. Central defender Curtis Davies: "I am sure Michael Owen doesn't need revitalising by any manager. I am sure Michael Owen, if he goes somewhere, keeps fit and plays games, is going to score goals. "He is that good a player. Unfortunately this season, just as he started to hit form, he got injured again and hasn't managed to put a run of games together. "I'd love to see him here at Villa if that was an opportunity, although at the same time there will be other clubs sniffing around him. "People will say about his wages but, if you are getting him on a free transfer, it offsets that. "If we are ever in the running for a player like that, it will show the progression of this club and hopefully we can get someone like that." |
40 mill for Owen. What a waste :lol:
Bunk Moreland - May 26, 2009 10:53 AM (GMT)
Has there ever been a player who's lived off his past reputation and has had to rely upon his pundit and journo friends for praise, then Michael Owen?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
The Emirates Gallastico - May 26, 2009 11:00 AM (GMT)
David Beckham? hi ach
Ach - May 26, 2009 11:03 AM (GMT)
Beckham is still quality so i wouldnt put him there.
The Emirates Gallastico - May 26, 2009 11:04 AM (GMT)
Quote the fucking post. <_<
Ach - May 26, 2009 11:05 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (The Emirates Gallastico @ May 26 2009, 12:04 PM) |
| Quote the fucking post. <_< |
:pal:
Rors - May 26, 2009 11:32 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| The new standards he has set across the club, standards which he adhered to every day of his playing career |
:sick:
Rors - May 26, 2009 11:33 AM (GMT)
I may be in the minority of Villa fans saying this, but I do not want that crock anywhere near B6 thanks very much, even on a free.
McNamara That Ghost... - May 26, 2009 01:03 PM (GMT)
I'd say the same thing about he and Arsenal.
Rors - May 26, 2009 10:33 PM (GMT)
Ashley apologising in that statement released a couple of hours ago :lol: Clearly he's (too) concerned about trying to get them lot onside - stubborn obstinate bunch that they are
2charlies - May 27, 2009 06:41 AM (GMT)
Newcastles sponsors for the new season were unveiled today as Tampax
A spokesman said " Helping a bunch of c***s during a very bad period is what this company is all about!"
A spokesman said " Helping a bunch of c***s during a very bad period is what this company is all about!"
Flava Flav - May 29, 2009 09:17 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Ach @ May 25 2009, 03:03 PM) |
| If Shearer doesnt stay, Dowie will be the new manager imo |
Given his team selections and tactics over the last few games of the season they would be wise to steer well clear of him.
Newcastle lacked 3 things, Creativity, pace and effort. So he plays Viduka who can barely move and isnt bothered and drops Jonas who has pace, erm....creativity and a lot of effort.
Also dropping Nolan and Ryan Taylor just when they had settled in was the height of stupidity.
Bunk Moreland - May 29, 2009 02:06 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Flava Flav @ May 29 2009, 09:17 AM) | ||
Given his team selections and tactics over the last few games of the season they would be wise to steer well clear of him. Newcastle lacked 3 things, Creativity, pace and effort. So he plays Viduka who can barely move and isnt bothered and drops Jonas who has pace, erm....creativity and a lot of effort. Also dropping Nolan and Ryan Taylor just when they had settled in was the height of stupidity. |
:goodpost:
One man and his phone.. - May 29, 2009 11:24 PM (GMT)
So what's the deal, they have to sell a load of players right or else they go out of business.
Surely their high costs are going to kill them.
Surely their high costs are going to kill them.
Grebbo - June 1, 2009 11:28 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Bunk Moreland @ May 26 2009, 10:53 AM) |
| Has there ever been a player who's lived off his past reputation and has had to rely upon his pundit and journo friends for praise, then Michael Owen? I don't think so. |
I agree.
People just can't seem to comprehend that Owen is finished at the top level. He might still do a job for a mid table team but he should be no where near the top four or England team.
Journo's are pathetic. They keep asking Capello why Owen isn't in his squad. He should just reply "Have you seen him play recently?".
Ach - June 2, 2009 03:25 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| ALAN SHEARER still wants to manage Newcastle - despite Mike Ashley's sale plans causing meltdown. Shearer was rocked by Ashley's decision to sell just as a blueprint was being drawn up to help Toon bounce back from the drop. Squad-building for a promotion push will have to take a back seat while new owners are sought. However, Shearer said: "I met Mike Ashley and chairman Derek Llambias last week and we discussed at length the future of Newcastle United and my desire to be the manager moving forward. "I made no demands but there were obvious conditions. We simply proposed an honest evaluation of what was needed to get the club back into the Premier League, whilst building solid foundations for the future." The Toon Army have been left reeling by the revelation Ashley could have flogged the club for £200million last October. New Portsmouth owner Dr Sulaiman Al Fahim says he was interested in buying the Toon last year. But Ashley wanted £400m - a £160m profit on his £240m investment. Al Fahim said: "I'd have paid £200m for Newcastle because it's a great club. But the guy wanted £400m. He's got to be kidding." Six months on, Ashley is prepared to take just £100m. Potential buyers from Oman and a UK-based consortium have been linked with a move. But City sources believe it would be foolish to believe a quick sale is round the corner. Football investment expert Vinay Bedi said: "Unless he is very, very lucky, it will take a long time for Ashley to get rid of the club. It is another unusual move." |
PGFC - June 2, 2009 03:27 PM (GMT)
Owen looks like he's going back to Merseyside...to Everton :blink:
Gooner4Life84 - June 2, 2009 05:22 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (PGFC @ Jun 2 2009, 04:27 PM) |
| Owen looks like he's going back to Merseyside...to Everton :blink: |
If true, it`s not really a surprise considering how far he`s fallen. Would have been a big surprise if he was going there back in the day at his peak. Realistically they`re the kinda club that will be in for him. You know.. Your Evertons/Villa`s/Man City`s etc. Not a Top 4 club.
Bunk Moreland - June 2, 2009 10:30 PM (GMT)
David Moyes is a sensible man. Everton are a well run club.
So why the F would they want to be in for Owen?
It just doesn't make sense.
Owen should just do the decent thing and retire, go focus on horse-racing and/or property.
So why the F would they want to be in for Owen?
It just doesn't make sense.
Owen should just do the decent thing and retire, go focus on horse-racing and/or property.
Ach - June 3, 2009 08:28 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| STEVEN GERRARD last night begged Liverpool: Bring back Michael Owen. The Kop skipper would love to see the Newcastle striker return to Anfield and believes it would help kick-start his flagging international career. Owen has been dumped by England boss Fabio Capello after struggling for fitness and form all season with the relegated Geordies. He is now out of contract and, according to Gerrard, could give Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez an extra strike threat alongside Fernando Torres. Gerrard said: "If we can keep Torres fit and add a bit more quality into our squad, we feel we can become champions. "I am a big fan of Michael, a good friend of his, and I would love to see him get a move away from Newcastle to a bigger club and put his England career back on track." |
McNamara That Ghost... - June 3, 2009 08:43 AM (GMT)
Gerrard says nothing about bringing him back to Liverpool.
Gooner4Life84 - June 3, 2009 11:02 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (McNamara That Ghost... @ Jun 3 2009, 09:43 AM) |
| Gerrard says nothing about bringing him back to Liverpool. |
Typical Sun.. Always twisting quotes n sh*t..
I assume Cripps posted a piece from 'The Sun'. Tends to be his way after all..
Ach - June 3, 2009 11:02 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Gooner4Life84 @ Jun 3 2009, 12:02 PM) | ||
Typical Sun.. Always twisting quotes n sh*t.. I assume Cripps posted a piece from 'The Sun'. Tends to be his way after all.. |
Wrong :pal:
Rors - June 3, 2009 05:39 PM (GMT)
:lol:
It's like the "x has issued a come and get me' plea to y" opening-paragraphs, based solely on a syndicated interview in which the questioner does little more than just reel off names of clubs, to which the response is 'You have to respect a side like that' or similar
It's like the "x has issued a come and get me' plea to y" opening-paragraphs, based solely on a syndicated interview in which the questioner does little more than just reel off names of clubs, to which the response is 'You have to respect a side like that' or similar