This is a fairly simple game (but hilarious none the less). To play "I Need", go to google.com (or whatever search engine you prefer) and type in "[Your Name] needs", then copy, paste, and post part of the first webpage description here.

Here I go:

"Kristin needs monthly prayer and financial support."

Awww...

(You may use a nickname if you really want to. Like this:

"Etcetera needs someone to help her calm down.")

Google cares about me. How nice.

Your turn!

"Jessica Needs Your Help."

XD

"Gabe needs a place to live."
Wow, ahahaha.

and my nickname...
"Valentine needs to offer more flexible options."

I just tried it again - with quotes this time (last time I only put in the keywords) - and got "Jessica needs to rethink her position on doing adult films."

Okaaaaaaaaaay!

I think I preferred Google's previous advice.

"Elizabeta needs $40 for stamps"

Okay, this is hilarious. I don't even write letters anymore. If I do, I'm not the one who pays for the stamps, but whatever...Google is the God! ;)

With my nickname:

"Beta needs a lot of horsepower."

I do? Well, I'll borrow some from my dad's car. :highfive:

"Tara needs a drink."

The above is quite QUITE true, seeing as I just watched The Departed.

And for my nickname,

"Flynnigan needs to be back on the ship before dark."

...What?! *lmao*

"Kristin needs to wash her socks because she will need them on Sunday morning"

:blink:

*Goes off to wash socks* - I'll need ALL of them?

Lindsay needs to eat some food

Lindsay needs a hug

Lindsay needs some buzz

and last, but certainly not least...

Lindsay needs a bra

All of these are relating to Lindsay Lohan :knives: by the way...

Liz needs to get that one frame from out of her old animated gif avatar. (!!!)

Liz needs real love. (HAHAHAHAAA!!!)

Liz needs a MAN! (*dies laughing*)

Liz Needs One More Taste of Her Liz's Oozing Pastry. (Er, what?)

Jess needs a bath.

Jess needs a snooze.

Jess needs sexual healing. ( :blink: )

Jess needs to rule the blogosphere with an iron keyboard.

Jess needs empty yogurt containers. (Alright...?)

...Oozing pastry, Liz? That sounds rather poisonous.

Hihi! You need sexual healing! Was there something that happened that you aren't telling me about, sis?

Elisabeth needs the blood of those hard to find virgin women. (uuhh...)

Elisabeth needs to be thanked profusely. (Haha! Grovel, peons!)

Elisabeth needs to get over herself! (WHAT?! N-no, come back and grovel, peons!)

Elisabeth needs a place she can stimulate her muscles. (...)

Elisabeth needs a voice transplant. (ÆÆÆÆÆ!!!)

Elisabeth needs to go.

Hehe! Character names!

Alastair needs constant prompting throughout the day to remind him to do things. (Hehe!)

Alastair needs the support of press and public alike to make this fund-raising venture a success. (Er, he likes to be by himself, what's he fund-raising for?)

Alastair needs extra assistance with basic academic skills. (Haahaha! Genius-boy forgot his basics?)

Alastair needs help.

Joshua needs a disciple and a soul-mate. (Hahaha! I will have disciples!)

Joshua needs to crawl (No way!!!)

Joshua needs help (AHAHAHAHAHA!)

And my nickname

Josh needs support to learn how to express his anger appropriately (I do not!)

Josh needs you

Josh needs extra lovin'

Josh needs our help and prayer (Dies laughing with Liz!)

Gwyneth needs to seriously STFU. ( :( )

Gwyneth needs to get her royal English panties out of a bunch. (I'm Welsh!)

Gwyneth needs to learn how to pose. (I can pose just fine!)

Gwyneth needs photography lessons. (Career advice?)

Tarryn needs a speedy recovery from surgery. (Wow, this one's actually correct...)

More charry names!

John Needs Operation After Hooker Bites Penis (!?!?!?! Was that you, Nora?!)

John needs to embrace family values (I'd say so! What's he doing getting his penis bit?!)

John needs to be allowed to take the risks involved in learning new things (All right, but mind you, hookers are a risky business...)

John Needs Your Bone Marrow! (Eh!? What for?!)

John needs to get his patootie back here (Where?)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Here's mine:

Sarah needs a cold shower. (Whaaaat?)

Sarah needs to hand him one of those weapons that went off without warning. (Hand who, Charles?)

Sarah needs your manly vote. (No women's suffrage need apply.)

Sarah needs to vent. ( :tarandfeathers: )

Sarah needs to suck Jim's cock. (WHAT? WHOSE?)

Hehe, and charry names again.

Charles needs a missus (Saraaaaaah! He needs a missus!)

Charles needs hernia operation after stretching awkwardly. (ÆÆÆ??)

Charles needs a lesson in self-denial from his mother. (Hahaha!)

Charles needs an eartuck. ( :o )

Charles needs expert help. (>.> <.< with what?)

Bruce needs a shave. (I suppose he does, but he's much better looking with the scruff.)

Bruce needs some Red Bull in his diet, but will it help? (I don't know, will it?)

Bruce needs to use his experience and superior intellect to take her down fast. (Who?)

Bruce needs more cow bell. ( :unsure: )

Bruce needs to fix his own vision and look at what's right under his nose. (*peers myopically*)

Hehehe! Yours were funny, Jess!

Anna needs to find a toilet (uh-oh)

Anna needs all the support she can get right now (Hehe, true)

Anna needs to balance out, and find peace without extremes (Yup, that too)

Anna needs major rehab (Whaaaat? Mean!)

Anna needs Re-Hab in the worst way (ææææ, what's with the rehab?! I do not!)

Anna needs to be prompted regularly to go to the bathroom or she wets herself. (oooh. That's why she needed the toilet)

Anna needs to go for psychiatric help ASAP! ( :heartcry: Mean mean mean!)

Anna needs sex. (*faints*)

Katherine needs some rules to follow. (Never gonna happen.)

Katherine needs a visit to the Bunny Planet. (Yeah!)

Katherine needs a lot more than just a slap in the face. (Is this Olivia?)

Katherine needs a reality check. (Reality sucks!)

Katherine needs a 1st Mate. (I could do with that.)

Katherine needs to be booted out. (This HAS to be Olivia!)

Katherine needs her awkward shadow-self in order to scintillate. ( :piccasso: )

Haverhill needs to be put on the map. (Oh dear, I'd have to be quite large, wouldn't I?)

HAVERHILL NEEDS TO HIRE MORE POLICE CLEAN UP THE TRASH. (Okay, okay, no need to shout)

Haverhill needs that, and needs it now. (What do I need now?)

Haverhill needs to be brought up on environmental destruction (I was brought up on environmental destruction. A very destructive child, I was, constantly destroying the stuff around me)

Haverhill needs to speak with one voice. (I do!)

Haverhill needs you! (I do not!)

Haverhill needs to be improved. (The nerve!)

Haverhill needs men and women (!)

Jean-Luc needs to receive articles by September 13. (I'm a mortician, not a newspaper head! Talk to Charles)

Jean-Luc needs to be happy (I am happy)

Jean Luc needs to be replaced with alien-womanizing Captn Kirk (Eh what?!)

Jean-Luc needs some clinical information about the population of Quebec (I do?)

Jean Luc needs to kick that ass! (Yeah! Whose ass, you just tell me and I'm on it!)

Jean Luc needs our advice (No, and I won't listen anyway)

ean-Luc needs to reconcile himself with his father (I didn't ask for your advice, did I?)

Rachel needs some Good Thoughts. (...)

Rachel needs to throw more bacon parties. (OK? Will anyone come?)

Rachel needs more caffeine. (I doubt this would improve her somehow.)

Rachel needs help when she enters Manhattan's meat-packing district to help three transvestite hookers. (Wow.)

Rachel needs guidance and normal supervision. (I do not!)

Rachel needs to be locked away into a mental :naughty: institution. (Now this has got to be Madeline.)

Here are Alice's:

ALICE NEEDS GOOD SEX NOW [Ack! Whoa...That was the first one that came up]

Alice needs a Wonderland

Alice needs an X-Ray

Alice needs to return her washing machine

Hehe, everyone's are all really funny!

HAHAHA!!! You need sex, m'dear! Better marry fast... but forget John, he got his penis bit by a hooker, won't be much use there for a bit, methinks.

Nils needs one of those giant backpacks with wheels that you see Upper East Side prep school kids rolling around so their wee backs remain unsullied. (Okay. I suppose...)

Nils needs more people, I'm sure of it. ( :blink: )

Nils needs to meet a certain target that will ensure sufficient exposure latitude. (What? Exposure? Count me out)

Nils needs to tell his fucking story walking (Hey! Watch your language!)

Nils needs some grooving with a female (Oh, I need that too, do I? Alice?)

Brenton needs trained staff. (Yes, actually, I do.)

Brenton needs a mentor. (No, I do not!)

Brenton Needs-A-Shave-And-A-Haircut-And-A-Bath Man. (I'm bald! And clean!)

Brenton needs much more love. (Uhhhhh...Anyone volunteering? Alice? I can help with yours...)

Brenton needs to raise more money, and quickly. (What is the urgency?)

Brenton needs not hesitate to change the system. (Alright.)

Nolan Needs to Mature (What?!)

Nolan needs to keep eyes on future (I have one there! Two!)

Nolan needs back surgery. (?!)

Nolan needs to take a good look at Kareem Brown. (Eh, why?)

Nolan needs over £14.5 million a year (I do! Will someone give it to me?)

Nolan needs a fresh horse. (Are you slighting my stock?!)

Nolan needs some years to fix the mess he walked into. (I don't have years. Three months at most!)

Tamsin needs a visit from the police (No! Not at all!)

Tamsin needs somebody to understand her. (My sister already does!)

Tamsin needs Mona as much as Mona needs Tamsin. (!?!)

Tamsin needs a partner in crime (I have one already. :) )

Tamsin needs some help from bagpuss like me! (No, thank you.)

Tamsin needs to proffer some personal tragedy of her own. (?!)

Garreth needs to see a "proper" wizard in play. (WHAT?! I am a proper wizard! What is it you people have against women!?)

Garreth needs to learn whether the leader is the old, powerful vampire he appears to be and find a way to deal with him. (Kris, is there something you not telling us?)

Tirzah needs to feel that the board is committed to spiritual growth (You younguns pay attention now!)

Tirzah needs to shake things up so she can be the center of attention, the only place for a g-d. (Here now, what's all this rumpus?)

Tirzah needs a tea party like woah (I don't party, young whippersnapper.)

Tirzah needs to spank thn. (Who needs a spankin'?)

Tirzah needs to keep her quiver loaded. (My Winchester and shotgun will do, thank you)

Tirzah needs to pack (Here now, are you tryin' to tell me somethin'?)

Lonny needs to line up a psychiatrist

Lonny needs interpersonal training

Lonny needs to find out what the rules and policies are

Lonny needs a powerful voice

-And my personal favorite-

What Lonny needs is some [crude term derived from innocuous slang word for a cat]

AHAHHA! Alice yours killed me!

Marie needs you help

Marie needs some urgent acomotation in melbourne, like tonight!

Marie needs marie needs red bull the girls get comfy if only i could remember what em was laughing at vogue marie and emilie show em how it's done. (??)

Marie needs a lot of patience

Marie needs a family who can provide a great deal of structure

Marie needs to show some discretion

:P :P

"Rebecca needs enlightenment!"

"Rebecca needs support around her eduacational goals"

"rebecca needs a french or spanish companion for french/english" AAAH!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT MY CHARA'S EDUCATIONAL LEVEL!!!

Humph. Okay, lemme try...:

"The Countess needs help. So she hires a handsome young. accountant, to assist in the counting." - Again with the... But hmmm... Maybe not a bad idea.

"The Countess needs no introduction - as imperious as she is beautiful, she is the wise and judicious ruler of our island. " - Eh? Island..?

"The countess needs the fire of a young hot-head like Stachel to fulfill her desires: she only needs her husband to preserve her lofty title of Countess." - hehehehe

"The Countess needs to drink Marks blood two more times but she finds it difficult as Robin notices the changes in Mark & sets out to protect him" - ...? ...! ...Well, all right then, who's Mark? *Looks around, ready to start chasing*

"Nora needs to grow up" :/

"NORA NEEDS ATTENTION" - Yeah!

"Nora needs a little time by herself, and then she'll be entering a wonderful environment that has a REAL teacher" ....Sounds good.

"Nora needs someone with whom she can rehearse" ;) I have a LOOOTTA practice.

"Nora needs to tell the truth about her grades" - Never mind those, you!

"Nora needs to have more fun and stop stressing so much." - Very, very true.

"Nora needs a new man" - Also very true.

"Nora needs someone with more polish than That Man." - OY! No dissin' my man, yo!

"Nora needs his guidance" - Mmmm! *Gets all dreamy-eyed"

"Nora needs no second name" - AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *Dries laughter-tears* Awwww....

"Nora needs to be back at work to restore order in Llanview!" - City's name is Lindebo, but all right, all right. *Plods back to work*

"Charlotte needs go to the East Coast this fall on tour petition at Petition Spot." - Mmmm... Hm?

"Charlotte needs Get Fuzzy. Get Fuzzy. Get Fuzzy. Rhino, Get Fuzzy. Rhino, Get Fuzzy. Rhino, Get Fuzzy. Get Fuzzy, OK? Get Fuzzy. Bye" - O_O Am I drunk or are you?

"Charlotte needs help finding words" - Yes, yes I do. *Points upwards* ^ Just look at that!

"Charlotte needs to look beyond banks, economist says" Mhm?

"Charlotte needs donations from people like you to ensure a quality event for the city of Charlotte." Oh! Oh yes, how fun! My own city and a quality event at that!! Now I get the money advice! Yesyes, gimme donations! :)

"Rupert needs another Ferrari" - Heheh. Right man. Wrong century.

"Rupert needs to take a shower, why the kid always look so unclean???" - Excuuuuse you?

"Rupert needs some lovin'" - Yeah he does!!! Ooga-ooga.

B) B)

Jack needs a girlfriend. “Free Love”, eh? Well, that would explain a lot

Jack needs a girlfriend (don't tell my wife);

Jack needs his Jill : Awww! Alice-ness xD

Jack Needs A Home!!!

Jack needs 1 foot GPS accuracy on his mobile phone for targetted killing ... :unsure:

Jack needs to say goodbye

Dorian needs forgiveness.

Dorian needs a shrink.

Dorian needs some Crunch Berries (he wouldn't be so serious, then)

Dorian needs a chick.

Dorian needs to stay away from guns.

HAHA, Dorian DOES need to stay away from guns!!! :)

"kristin needs a hug. the problem is she needs a real hug, which she just can't get" - Awww.

"Kristin needs a family who can provide her with nurturance, consistency and love." - I have one, fank yuh.

"Kristin needs a good haircut to tame that wild ass hair." - Humph.

"Kristin needs to show off more" - Yeah. I RULE.

You DO rule!
This was for my old nickname, Lisa, which some people still call me.

Lisa needs braces. (Had 'em already!)

Lisa needs a tree. (Sho thang. I luv trees)

LISA NEEDS TO GET A LIFE (Wha-what?? :heartcry:)

Lisa needs to have her brains blown all over the pristine white walls of the penthouse (ÆÆÆÆ!!)

Lisa needs a bigger grin and lots more warmth (Yes, I do. Those last two weren't very warm at all!)

LISA needs to more clearly communicate to clients how they can benefit from LISA membership. (Ukay, it's like this. You get a lot of privileges and benefits, and a nifty button: Are YOU a member of LISA? Put the button in your siggy and join today!)

Daniel needs time and understanding that he has many feelings

Daniel needs to learn about people, so he's not very trusting right now

Daniel Needs a Break.

Daniel needs someone who can truly appreciate the *censored* he goes through

Okay, this makes him sound really depressing, lol.