Title: Mary McKenzie
Description: Maid
Misty_The_Great - June 8, 2007 06:26 AM (GMT)
OOC Information
Preferred Form of Address on A&A: Misty
Contact Information: brydieo@gmail.com
Other Characters on A&A: None
How You Found A&A: I Googled a historic RPG game
IC Information
Name: Mary Ceana McKenzie
Avatar:
None
Occupation:
Maid
Age:
15
Gender:
Female
Appearance:
Medium height, with straight, light brown hair and grey eyes. She is strongly built, but not heavy, with a small bosom and neat waist. Somehow she always looks innocent, which has probably been acquired over years of tricks and getting out of hot water. No doubt this will come in handy some day.
At her country home she liked to wear boys clothes, simply because they were far more comfortable, but now that she has moved to the city and is a maid, she knows better than to even whisper about wearing trousers.
She is not really aware of it, but she is quite pretty. Not, beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous, but a sweet, girly innocent, nice to look at pretty.
She also has a very strong Scottish accent (which I won't write, just nice to know)
Personality:
Mary is a bright, vibrant, caring and stubborn girl who is a very loyal friend. She would stick up for whatever was right, or whoever she thought needed support. She has a good hold of language, but has not really had a magnificent education; she was taught by her mother when she had the time and after her death she occasionally stole her brothers school books, as it is more important for boys to learn than girls. She is excellent at reading grocery lists but hopeless at poetry, which is handy if you're a maid, but useless for anything else.
She loves all creatures on the Earth, and has a kind streak which forces her to help anything in need.
She is extremely strong willed and has no patience for cowards, drunks (her Father was one), no-hopers and people who feel sorry for them self.
History:
Mary Ceana McKenzie was born to James and Martha on the 9th of August on a cold and rainy night. The little sod-cottage was warm and cosy, maybe too cosy, as she was the fourth child born to them, the first girl, but they didn't mind, at least not when she was a baby and a toddler, but at she grew up everything changed.
Her father lost his job and turned to the drink, which greatly impoverished them, then after a while he never came home from the pub, and refused to talk to his family.
Martha gave up. She had four hungry children and no one earning money, so she simply stayed at home and lay in bed. A year later, she succumbed to pneumonia caught in the tough winter and died.
Left alone to fend for themselves, Mary's oldest brother Tobias (14) left school and worked in mines around their country town. His income was enough to feed them, but not enough for school, so Mary was sent to her her uncle and aunt's house in the city.
They lived the high life, parties and theatre, and she despised them for it. Why should she live like a ponsy city girl when her brothers were slaving away in the mines? So she ran away and lived on the streets, running with a gang called the Cobble Rats; she had had no chance to even think about a job as they'd snatched her up immediately as she is also reasonably handy as a vet/doctor.
She stayed with them for 3 years, until Tobias was in town looking for an apprenticeship and found her. He dragged her back home, but had to find an alternative because, like before, there wasn't enough money, but she refused to be adopted, and suggested that she work also. Tobias didn't want his sister working in any of the dodgy shops around the country, so she became a maid.
And thats how she arrived in Lindebo.
Strengths:
- Kindness
- Loyalty
- Use of language
- Her looks (?)
- Ability to mend basic wounds (clean stabs, cuts, grazes).
Weaknesses:
- Stubbornness
- Impatience for cowards, drunks, no-hopers and people who feel sorry for them self
- Her not really knowing what a maid should do
Weapons:
Her tongue, her friends, and also a few nifty moves (kicks, punches, how to incapacitate an attacker, nothing major, just how to get out of the grip while not actually killing them, more like self defense) she learnt over the years of putting up with three brothers and living in the city on the streets.
Picture:
None
Etcetera - June 9, 2007 04:33 PM (GMT)
I think this looks good; we need all the "normal" people we can get, so I'm very happy when people want to play them. I would like to see you elaborate more on her history, though.
Who taught her to read? How did the death of her mother influence her and her brothers - how was the mother a "weak link" and were the children aware of it? Why did she run away from her aunt and uncle to live in the streets? Was this in a big city? When her brother brought her "back home," was this to her aunt and uncle's house, and why did he do this if they were so poor that she needed to leave again straight after? You mention a country-house in her description; is this also her aunt and uncle's houise? Do her brothers still live there? Are they all older than her (the brothers)? In her "weapons" you mention her friends: Has she lived in Lindebo for a long time to acquire them? Has she got work already or is she looking?
If she is looking: Do you plan to NPC her employers or would you like to work for other existing players?
You could probably also add a few lines to her personality, but it's not a "must," it's just something I'd like to see. Maybe something about how she copes with living on her own - does she ever get lonely or scared or miss her brothers? Does she have any views on religion? With her love for all creatures and tendency to help those in need, how can she tell if said creatures are cowards, no-hopes etc and are they excluded from this because of her intolerance for them?
Anyway: Welcome to the board! :) Hope you don't find me too naggetynaggy.
Misty_The_Great - June 9, 2007 09:10 PM (GMT)
Thanks!
I've edited the history slightly, just expanded what I already had, and I've changed the personality thing.
Thanks for the advice!
Mjinga - June 10, 2007 03:44 AM (GMT)
I think it's good. :) I just want two things explained just a little more.
Why did she live on the streets instead of getting a job in a factory or something?
And what nifty moves are these that she knows?
Dassall. :) Good job!
Misty_The_Great - June 15, 2007 07:41 AM (GMT)
Thanks for the advice, I've edited my post and waited for a yes, but I haven't got it! Is Mary McKenzie accepted or not? Please reply, I'm waiting to be able to post!
Thanks, Misty
Etcetera - June 15, 2007 06:24 PM (GMT)
Right. I generally don't have the time to go around checking old posts for updates, so I've been waiting for you to reply to this topic.
The moves will be fine if it's just a way to say she's learned to defend herself better than any random Victorian woman would. If you want them to be something more - like if she's somehow miraculously capable of incapacitating any attacker - you would have to explain more about it and also give her more weaknesses to weigh up for it. I hope you get that; we can't risk suddenly having an über-strong "karate-girl" running around the boards. ;)
| QUOTE |
| So she ran away and lived on the streets, running with a gang called the Cobble Rats; she had had no chance to even think about a job as they'd snatched her up immediately as she is also reasonably handy as a vet/doctor. |
What? Where does this vet/doctor-thing come from? How did she learn and does this not count as education? You'll need to add that to your strengths and put in a weakness or two more if you have a plausible explanation for those questions... Anyway; did this "gang" keep her fed and clothed since she'd rather run with them than get a job?
Mjinga - June 15, 2007 09:33 PM (GMT)
I also do not check apps for updates, I rely on peeps telling me when they've edited. It wasn't that we've been ignoring you apurpose.
I have nothing to add to Kris' comments, btw. She said exactly what I was thinking (scarily, in almost the exact wording I was thinking of). :)
Misty_The_Great - June 15, 2007 11:27 PM (GMT)
OK, I've edited Mary and mentioned those things you wanted clarified. Hope its nearly there!
Misty
Etcetera - June 16, 2007 04:08 AM (GMT)
It is nearly there, yes. But you must have missed something.
| QUOTE |
| You'll need to add that to your strengths and put in a weakness or two more if you have a plausible explanation for those questions... Anyway; did this "gang" keep her fed and clothed since she'd rather run with them than get a job? |
I'll allow her to be good with wounds and maybe even some of the typical "old-woman-tricks" about health, but I won't allow any more knowledge of medicines, since it seems very unlikely that anyone would spend time teaching such a young girl things like that. Besides, if they had the knowledge, they would probably be in a higher class, and thus not her friend.
Misty_The_Great - June 18, 2007 06:44 AM (GMT)
Sorry, I did miss that, I've edited it, anything else?
Etcetera - June 18, 2007 09:05 AM (GMT)
Nothing else, no, still the same things. I don't see any weaknesses added and no explanation/answer to my question. If the latter is there, then I'm sorry for being slow; would you please just point it out to me?
Oh, and yes! Another thing after all! Could you please change "vet/doctor" to "nurse?"
Thassit. You'll have my approval as soon as you fix those things.