I am so sorry that i lied to you all. I’m not asking you to forgive me or anything. I don’t deserve that. But, as you can see, i’m not dead.
This is not my only lie either. I have had a lot of problems lately. I’m currently at the hospital. I did have a heart attack and i very nearly died. Chances are high i will get more of them, and it will probably kill me, eventually. I don’t deserve anything else.
I have anorexia. And that’s why there were so much complications under the surgery. I’m horribly underweight (86 lbs now - after a week in the hospital), and the doctors didn’t want to get through with the operation when they saw how tiny i was. But, as that would have killed me as well, they didn’t really have a choice.
My body is still rejecting food, because i haven’t eaten in such a long time. So i get nutrition through a needle in my arm. I’m having horrible pains. My whole body is aching. Not to be a drama queen or anything, but i really just want to die.
They will send me to a mental ward as soon as i’m well enough to get out of here. Get treatment for anorexia, angst, panic attacks, depressions.. you name it..
I’m not asking anyone to forgive me, or understand me. I can’t forgive myself, and all i have achieved by this is making people i love hate me, and make my life even more difficult. I am so sorry.
I don’t know if i’ve made anything any better by writing this, but you deserve the truth.
I don’t expect any of you to ever want to talk to me after this. And i don’t blame you. I wish i could just stop talking to me.
Goodbye and thanks for everything. I love you. There’s no excuse for what i have become.

:blink:

Read This..

That might help you understand...

I already did.

I repeat.... :blink:

To tell you the truth I never really believed it. I thought this was some joke on the Gotkorn people. So this isn't really surprising to me :P

:'( Oh my god. I don't know what to think, I'm so fucking happy you didn't go. Then I'm upset for you saying such a thing. Deary.. I'm just so fucking glad you're alive... :'(

*Hugs Stine*

Not a surprise here either, but nonetheless, hoped it WAS true so she didn't lie.. <_< Seriously, what can one achieve from lying to internet people?

Once again, I had no idea about any of this...


I very very slightly understand lying in a situation like this. If it were me, I'd rather have my friends think I was dead than have them think I was suffering all the time. But then again, lying to friends... I don't know. It's a hard situation to deal with either way, and under the pressure of thinking I could die any minute of every day, I think I would probably make the same decision... just to make it easier for friends to deal with. It's a selfless thing in a way, selfish in others...

I'm not really that mad, even though I probably should be. I guess I'm just happy that you're not really dead. I really hope you get help with your problems, and really really hope that you can at least make it through all of this, and get better.

i dont know if i should be glad or angry

It's understandable. I guess the changes are there because they were fiddling with her brain. Look Stine, no one is perfect. That being said, I guess it makes us all equal. You are no better, nor any worse than any of us. We're not gonna like stop talking to you...you apologised. Strange how we only ever miss someone when it's too late.

Strange how someone has to come close to death before we truly appreciate them. Strange how so many people live without really knowing themselves and others...

Wow. I am very glad to hear you are alive STINEEEE!!!

Oh my... I saw that GK post and I felt this pit in my stomach. Thank goodness you are still with us Stine! I understand why you would have said such a thing. It's okay. We only want you to get better.

i'm so glad so many of you aren't that angry...

i'm probably leaving the hospital today or tomorrow, and they're sending me straight to the mental hospital (they wouldn't even let me say bye to my cats..). i'm pretty sure i won't be able to get online while i am there.. so goodbye everyone.. wish me luck..

Good Luck Hun :)
Get Better Soon :)

Well, I am just gonna say it....I don't care anymore....

I didn't read the first post untill now and even if I had, I don't think I would have believed it.
I think you lie about a lot of things (and have even discussed with others on the fact) and this just supports the fact that you are a compulsive liar. If I am wrong, so be it. But it doesn't matter now because I think what you did is sick anyway. Looking for comfort and compassion by telling people you died. Does it really make you feel better to tell people you are dead just so you can read their responses? I am sorry but that makes me want to puke.
So on top of what I have already believed were lies anyway, here are more to throw in the fire.
Am I angry? No.
Disgusted? Yep.

you're right. i have a problem, and this has been quite a wakeup call. i seriously need help. i have a chance to get that now, and i will work my ass off if need be to get better (- anorexia, depressions, angst, lying. it's all connected. i don't think i could get rid of any of them as long as the others are still there.) i don't want to be a person who does this sort of thing to people she cares about.
for the record, i did not do this for "comfort and compassion". believe it or blow it off as another lie, but it's true. i had no intention of seeing anyone's response to this at all. i was not going to come back here, or talk to any of you again. i was going to put an end to my whole "online life". i would have. i still think i should have. but my therapist made come back, tell the truth and "clean up my mess". of course, it only made it worse.
however, i don't have the ability to turn back time. i can only try to explain the circumstances, which i've done as well as i am able to at the moment. i understand your being disgusted, though i am quite sure no one is as disgusted as i am myself about this. again, i am sorry. you won't see me again, so don't worry about that.
i'm leaving tonight, so this is my final goodbyes. thank you all for being so great before this.

Bye, Stine. *Hug* I hope you get better. :)

goodbye

I'm basically with Curt, except I'm pissed and digusted. You lie about dying, you can just about lie about anything else. So all this surgery shit, I don't believe. I mean, you said you were on the internet on a fucking FERRY. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WATER. And even if they managed to pop up a satellite wireless connection for some damn ferry service, you took pictures right after the "surgery" and had a full head of hair. Not to mention, it was after your second surgery. You said they did the surgery in the back of your head. How could they have done it in the same place, twice, in such a short period of time? The healing would be nowhere near complete. And you wouldn't have had a full head of hair. So as far as I can see, you could possibly have lied about everything, and considering you can lie about death, I'm more than sure any of those could be lies as well.


Many will call me an ass, but as far as I'm concerned, good bye and good riddance.

actualy i totaly have to agree with you here. i thought she looked surprisingly good for having sergery not a week before the picture <_<

Yeah, actually that was one thing Nitt and I talked about. And I found it quite odd that after having brain surgery and being in a coma she decides what she wants to do is come online and post about it.
And another thing, if I thought I was going to die soon, the last thing I would be doing is wasting my remaining time online.

Ouch. :(

Personally, I haven't thought much about this stuff. I was gone from here for a week or two and have been skimming these posts more than I should be. What nitt is saying makes a lot of sense. I guess the cat is out of the bag now. :(

Curt was right, and it's a damn shame.

I never looked at the photos I think... And never thought much about the surgery thing. So I guess I was clueless :P